A dificult week

The last few weeks you have not heard a lot from us, in part because we had a busy and heavy few weeks and we’d like to share a little bit about that.

Leia em português aqui – Lees in het Nederlands hier

As you may know, for us it will be almost impossible to have children the natural way. But even before we knew about that we had talked about our wish to adopt one day. In 2006 we received Efraim in a very special way. We got to know the biological mom and before he was 3 days old he came home with us, and the whole adoption procedure was done within 6 months. He will be 5 years old soon! Because of that the last few months we were thinking more about a second child. Until than we never had given up the hope for a pregnancy, but the longer it took, the harder it is sometimes to keep believing and hoping. (It’s been over 7 years!). Luckily there are several examples in the bible (Sarah, Rachel, Rebekkah en Elisabeth) who also couldn’t get children, and they also had given up hope and did not always believe that they would, and inspite of that they had a very special child!

In the beginning of this year we started to think more concrete about a next adoption. We wanted to put our name on the national adoption list, because the chance that a baby would almost literally fall from heaven into our family -like Efraim did-is not that big. But a few weeks ago friends asked us if we would consider adopting twins, wow, we had to think about that a little, but in the end we said yes. But then we found out there was also already another family interested, so it didn’t happen for us. But this person knew somebody else that was pregnant and looking for an adoptive family. In the end we found out the pregnancy was only in an early stage and it would be better to wait a little. That was hard because it’s easy to create certain expectations.

Then suddenly last week on Wednesday we were called by this contact person that the day before a baby was born and the mother wanted to give it for adoption because she was maltreated by her husband. We prayed right away for God’s guidance, and that He would open and close doors where necessary. Than we didn’t hear anything. Finally Friday we found out the baby would be released from the hospital on Monday and that same day he could come to us. The contact person had visited the mom and baby in the hospital and we received many pictures! Saturday night we met with the contact person to get more info about the mother, the situation etc. A few things were not clear about the mother’s id, but also about whether the whole process was totally legal. This caused us to be in a rollercoaster of emotions, we wanted this so bad, but at the same time doubts and anxiety, both in me as in Jander and this even caused some tension between us at times. Finally Sunday night late after lots of investigation we knew for sure that the whole process was ok and legal. We were so happy! The next day we would only have to wait for a phone call that the baby was released from the hospital so we could start the process. The whole weekend we had been busy washing clothes, sheets, diapers, sanding and painting the crib, get the stroller out of the dust, you name it, there were baby things we still had from Efraim all over the house. These days we did not get much sleep because of all the emotions, but as we said, this way we were already be prepared for the broken nights with a newborn baby! Finally on Monday afternoon we received a phone call from our contact person, but unfortunately not with good news….. the mother had left the hospital with the baby and her husband and did not say anything to anyone.

We were so disappointed, we had been looking forward to this, had prepared ourselves practically and emotionally and now this happened! Still we have many questions. But we want to trust that God wants the best for us and He knows the right time. But it is not easy, it feels like we lost someone (and we did). Every time I felt shocked by the fact it was still only Monday, because through all things that happened and all the emotions it felt like we had already had worked a full busy week. We would like to ask you to pray for us. We are very happy and grateful for the friends that have been with us these last few days, especially Mirjam from Natal was spending the weekend here (God’s perfect timing) Peter en Selma, Sandra en Sebastião, Dayanne&Fabiano, Josi & Keri. It’s been comforting to find out we have friends to share the good and the hard times, also the many people that stood around us in prayer!